Singletracks has been collecting mountain bikers’ trail reviews for nearly two decades now, which is pretty hard to believe. Even more unbelievable are some of the things Singletracks trail reviewers are saying–just take a look at some of our favorite quotes!
This hiker seems to want to pick a fight
When hikers and mountain bikers share trails, there will be occasional conflicts that arise. Most of the time, these are worked out privately among the individuals involved, but every now and then someone decides to air their grievances online. Pro tip: don’t post those grievances on Singletracks if you’re against mountain bikers. They will downvote your review in record numbers.
This review is about the part of Concord Park that lies east of the marina. It used to be a great park for walkers and hikers. Not any more. Since the Knox County Parks Dept. has allowed recreational and mountain bikers to use the narrow trails of this park, it has become unusable for pedestrians. Bikers and pedestrians cannot co-exist on these single-track trails. You cannot even walk these trails side-by-side. So if a biker approaches a walker from behind he will create a dangerous situation for both himself and the the pedestrian unless the pedestrian quickly get out of the way or unless the biker dismounts and walks his bike past the pedestrian. In several years of hiking these trails, I have never met a biker who does not insist on having the right of way forcing me to jump aside and let him pass. What if I refuse to yield my right of way and the biker runs into me causing bodily injury? Who is going to pay for a very expensive medical evacuation and subsequent lawsuit? (Concord Park)
Apparently President Trump is now tweeting mountain bike trail reviews
OK, so this review goes a bit over Twitter’s 140 character limit, but the tone is unmistakable.
Sad !! this trail network is far from been the third best in USA It is for sure a great network it your a beginner or with beginner and for sure if you ride a hard tail 29er ! and love spendex! but it you and any real suspention and love to use it dont waist you time like we did on this network! (18 Road Trails)
Hate for the haters
Singletracks readers can leave feedback on individual trail reviews about whether the review was helpful or not. This negative review received more “unhelpful” ratings than almost any other review on the site, and I suspect a lot of readers just don’t care for the overall negative tone. Or maybe people just aren’t stoked about the writer threatening to keep all the good trails to himself.
What a dump..another PA Park Service afterthought. The state of PA just doesn’t get it they do not understand that if you build it they will come. No No No No park rangers available..
To even provide you with a map not one map anywhere on the premises but yet 4 dept. trucks parked at the ranger office with the doors Locked at 9am in the morning on a Monday. They dump you on to some crummy area and give you some up and downs with no imagination no thought no personality. Others say this place is hard and rocky give me a break its a piece of cake a total joke in every way. I will not suggest where to go because I like to keep the good areas a secret so all you mountain bikers please rush to French Creek and knock yourself out (French Creek)
Short and sweet
Some Singletracks trail reviews communicate the most important information in just a few characters.
It’s pretty clear what this reviewer is communicating. But what does this next one mean? I’m guessing either “awesome” or possibly “very dangerous.”
One of the most popular reviews overall is actually the following word:
Alternatively, one reviewer found a concise way to express his or her displeasure with a trail system.
For future reference, “bad” requires one less character but means roughly the same thing. Or maybe just “no”?
Not helpful, but perhaps he has a point
This review also received a lot of dings for being unhelpful, but I think many of us can relate to the frustration of being denied access to a mountain bike trail. IMO, eliminating the typos would make these arguments a bit stronger.
So I live in Denver, and had to ride this trail with hopes of not getting caught by the highlands ranch elightest. What is the the deal with that! I say from now on when riding the vast expance of Colorado trails. We carry our id’s and check oneanother. If someone happenes to be from highlands ranch, we kick them of the trails, by saying these trails are not for you our city paid for them. It’s ok anyway these trails are to easy for anyone not living in highlands ranch to enjoy. (Highlands Point)
Not sure what this has to do with the singletrack but good to know
Great place besides the guy in the white Hyundai he is married and has kids he is handicap, this guy is always there with different women when he isn’t with his wife. He had the nerve to ask me something today I told him off! (Loyce E. Harpe)
Don’t bash the Tsali trail system!
This reviewer seems to be responding to a number of negative reviews written by previous reviewers. And judging but the number of helpful votes the review has received, it seems a lot of people agree! Amen brother, keep preaching.
Wow. I am shocked at all of the Tsali bashing. Tsali isn’t just a trail, it is an experience. It’s camping in the lot and waking up with your bike next to you and hitting the trailhead right there. It’s the deep emerald NC forest and the wet ocre earth that is perfect singletrack winding around endless corners with the Blue Ridge Mountains calling in the distance. It is mist so deep you don’t realize your are on islands surrounded by large, ameobic bodies of water with miles of smooth, yet often unpredictable singletrack. It is a place where mobile phones don’t get signals and there are no late night fast food runs. Tsali is not an after work ride, or lift served park that requires pads. Tsali is an idea that helped build and fuel interest in mountain biking on both the East and West coast. Tsali is not ‘the everything trail’ but it is ranked high for a good reason. If you don’t get Tsali, you definitely don’t get mountain biking. (Tsali Recreation Area)
Is anybody out there?
It seems one of the best ways to get readers to upvote a review is to flat out ask them to do so. Seriously people, c’mon–start giving feedback on others’ trail reviews! It literally takes 1 second and you don’t have to be logged in to Singletracks.
These trails are great! Went on a trip and hit up 4 trails in 2 days (Standing Rocks, Hartman, Evergreen and Greenbush) and Hartman was the standout of the bunch. Nicely groomed and just fun to ride. As stated by others, it is a fairly easy trail with no real tricky spots although they added some nice little obstacles throughout the trail that provide more of a challenge. What was nice is an alternate path always existed to go around an obstacle for beginners which I was riding with. No real grueling uphills which was nice as we rode these trails after Standing Rocks so we were pretty tired already but the trails were so fun, they were tough to leave. Nice beach area with canoe/kayak rentals and showers too. You are not going to find anything really challenging but that may be a good thing for some and you can always do multiple laps to get your workout in. Trails are nicely marked and are bi-directional which is a good and bad thing since you can get two different rides but watch out ahead. I think the entire time I was there though I only saw 3 other bikers. This is a must hit for anyone near the area.
Let me know if this review was helpful so I know I’m not wasting my time with this. (Hartman Creek State Park)
A Pulitzer Prize caliber trail review
With the right editor, this could pass for real literature. OK, maybe not, but it’s certainly entertaining!
Your living the dream he shouted as he pedaled by on a rig that looked to cost more them my first car. As I huffed and puffed to catch my breath all I could think is I hope he’s right. I was half way up sulfur springs and exhausted already. I couldn’t wait to get to the top to realize the aforementioned dream. All I could think to myself is this is more like a recurring nightmare, where I am pushing my bike up and endless 45 degree grade and when I get to the top. I find myself back at the parking lot I started at. I jumped back on my bike and crank out a few more hundred yards and I can finally see the top of the trail. Catching my breath once again I looked up the trail and saw my ridding buddy at the top looking down at me like a father patiently waiting for his son to learn a lesson. I finally made it to the top and I was a bit disappointed. It looked nothing like a dream in fact it was more like a waste land. The helli pad and the sparse trees, shrubs, and hard pack clay gave it a post apocalyptic feel. As I surveyed the area I noticed a trail head about 20 feet from where I was. We walked over and found the trail head singe and it read Ridge Trail. It didn’t appear to be anything special that I could tell from where I was standing with my bike. After about 10 minutes of recuperating we started our decent down the Ridge trail. From the start I knew this trail was going to be special. Right of the bat you have to navigate some rutty trail and a slight drop. Being somewhat an intermediate novice this was challenging and exciting all at the same time. I started to pick up speed and spent the next ¾ mile swooping left and right and rolling up and down. The trail has a bit of a side wall feel for them and some were even banked but not by much. Expect for the occasional front tier rolling up and sliding down the side walls of the trail the ride was exhilarating to say the least. We rolled up on to the table and vista point right after the brail trail head and before the tractor trail head. This is one of the best vista views of Santa Cruz you will find in the bay area. We broke out our snacks and kicked up our feet for a well deserved break. After about 20 minutes of chatting, snacking, and hydrating we headed back down the ridge trail in the direction of the tractor trail head. The ridge trail did not disappoint and if tractor was anything like the ridge trail indeed I was going to be livening the dream. Due to the towering red wood trees you can’t see that far ahead of you down any given trail at Demo Forest. I wasn’t sure what lie ahead of us on the tractor trail I have heard so many great things about. I was excited with anticipation and a little anxious about my skill level and my bike. So far on this day all I have seen is $2k + bikes and all have been full suspension with disk breaks. I was even told I was a little nutty to be riding my hard tail trek 4300 V break bike in this park. I would have to agree with the easements by my fellow riders it was a little nutty indeed. We final came to the Tractor trail head and it looked intimidating to say the least. I was hoping I would be able to keep my ambitious and aggressive riding style in check today. I still lack the skills needed to keep up with my gunhooeineess (yes I know this isn’t a real word). Sometimes I make my riding partner go ahead of me so I don’t get carried away literally and figuratively. He has witnessed the results of my going just al little to fast and a little to agro for my skill level on 3 separate occasions, twice ending in hospital visits. Today would be a true test of my progression in riding skills and self-control. While mentally preparing my self I tightened up my front and back breaks, let out a little tier pressure in the front and back then proceeded to drop my seat down half the distance to the frame. Checked my helmet was strapped tight took a deep breath and went for it. I picked up speed right of way so I started pumping my back break trying not to break traction with the trail. Already I was on my way into the fist swooping left turn and I knew I was caring too much speed. I grabbed a hand full of front and back break took my left foot off my pedal and prepared my self for impact with a giant redwood tree. I started to skid and drift to the outside of the turn as soon as I entered the corner so I let go of the breaks planted my foot on the ground and pitched my bike into the corner with all my might. I continued to drift to the outside heading right for the tree. Thank god the trail was a bit dryer and harder then the section I was skidding in my tiers bit and my life didn’t have to flash before my eyes once again as I was able to make the corner. I let out a giant whoohoo of relief. Then I noticed the tight right hander coming up real fast. I managed to scrub some speed off preventing my emanate death at the hands of a giant red wood in the previous corner but was still going in hot. I saw a small opening in the apex of the corner looked like just enough room to fit me and my bike between some younger redwoods. So once again I grabbed a hand full of breaks leaned as far back on my bike as I could touched in my elbows and skidded my way straight in to the apex of the corner. I managed to keep the bike going in a straight enough line to head exactly where I wanted. As I squeaked between the two trees I suddenly found my self going over a 2 foot drop and into even more trees. Because I had the forsite to lean as far back as I could before threading the trees I thought I would make the drop but I didn’t let go of my breaks so I went straight over the handle bars as soon as my front end hit the ground. I proceed to execute the most spectacular ninja roll ever according to my riding partner and came to a rolling stop at the base of what would have been the first of many trees I would have went careening off of had I made the drop. I stood up dusted the pine needs and mud off and did a quick easement of my bike then myself. I had a few minor scrapes nothing that couldn’t be taken care of at the end of the day. I looked up to see how many people got to witness my little off trail adventure and smiling from ear to ear with that I told you so satisfied look on his face my riding partner says to me “You better check your shorts, you went so rigged when you went of that drop I thought you were going to snap your seat off”. We both had a good laugh at my expense and prepared to head back down the trail. For the remainder of the 1.1 miles of downhill I kept my speed in check and it was the best down hill I have ever ridden in the California bay area. From the swooping turns to the mini air jumps to the incredible speed. This trail had it all. There were also plenty of stunts and other stuff we didn’t have a chance to try. Next time I come back I will defiantly be on a full suspension bike with disk breaks. My hands and but were sore to say the least once the ride was over. You defiantly have to pay to play at Demo forest. The clime in and out of the park can be rough if you are not in the best of shape. I would have to say Demo forest is definitely living the dream if you are a mountain biker living in the California bay area. (Forest of Nisene Marks and Soquel Demonstration Forest)
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Oh my gosh! This made my day! ???????????? Thanks Jeff!
That one about the White Hyundai is really funny. I told my wife about it and all she had to say was “cheating isn’t funny.”