[Rlind31636]

Typical Sunday, riding with my son.  Trying out a new section of trail.  Black diamond, you know.  Piece of cake, I tell my son (who is a solid, skilled  rider, unlike his old man).  He leads.  He has a hard tail, easily table topping the rather large, fast whoops.  I have a full suspension Epic with fully loaded rebound to help handle my girth.

Unfortunately my suspension decided to launch me airborne on the 3rd, and largest whoop whilst accelerating just beyond my talents can control.  My son said that it is the highest he had ever seen a human fly unassisted.  When I landed on my back some 20 feet later the ensuing crash left chain ring marks on the outside of my LEFT leg and ruptured the spare water bottles in my back pack.  I came to a stop face down in sort of a twisted ball, waterboarding myself as the bottles dumped the water into my now upside down nostrils.

Once I caught my breath and walked around a bit, we proceeded down the trail for another couple of miles.  At the next trail head we stopped and I confessed to my son that something was amiss and that he should ride on and I will take a shortcut back to the car.  After I loaded my bike up, I waited for my son (who had the car keys) to finish his ride my body got stiffer, my breathing became labored and I could no longer bend at the waist.  He drove.

Once home I attempted to shower to try to loosen up and hide the crash evidence from the wife, to no avail.  I could not move or breath.  So off to the ER we went for a couple doses of Fentanyl, some much needed oxygen,  2 liters of IV fluids and a full body CAT scan which reveled the largest contusion the ER doctors had ever seen.  It stretched from my left shoulder blade to the bottom of my left thigh, changing my 38 waist to a 44 waist, along with several cracked ribs thanks to the water bottles.

After we got home my wonderful wife filmed me as I chugging around the house, high on Vicodin, saying “movin is lubin, movin is lubin”.

 

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